Grow some girl-balls and come out already
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
