Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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