We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
