fuck your aforementioned shoe
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
