I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
