So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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