the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
