He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
