I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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