What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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