You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
