I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
