I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Holy shit dude........stairs
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
