Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
