I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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