The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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