Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He had one of those small greek statue penises
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
