i think my tv is drunk
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
