she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize