We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
