before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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