I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
