He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
