I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
