She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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