Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
