I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
