oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
