She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
