Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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