i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
This is the high leading the old right now
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
