so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
she woke up with a sticky ear
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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