Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
