can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
they're like a gay fantastic four
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
