Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
