just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
