so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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