it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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