I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
