it wasn't lemon gatorade
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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