I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
