Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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