If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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