Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
