Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
