I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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