Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
