i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
