I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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