Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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