I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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