do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
