Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
