I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize