summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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