everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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