is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
