how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
