its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
