I love black thongs
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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