are you so shy because you have an std?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
