called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
