i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
