I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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