FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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