i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
