Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
