I wish I could punch you in the face.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
