i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Randomize
