he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
