She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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