God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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